Why a Philippine -American will never become a US President

Renxkyoko  Iglesias here.  Hello ?

Before anything else,  check out my manga/anime blogsite  HERE     The latest entry is Ouran High School Host Club manga 10/10, Ouran High School  Host Club anime, 0/10

 

I have not been feeling well these days.  The  see saw change in temperature always gets to me. Yesterday and today , it was 98 F, the day before that, 80 F.    Temperature should have started  steadily going  down in  middle of September, but it hasn’t.  The climate  is truly and irreversibly  whacked.

 

I came across some jokes circulating on the Internet  about why  a Philippine – American will never be a US President. Since it is presidential  election year here in the US ( it’s on  Nov. 8, don’t forget to vote ), I think the jokes are right on the nose, and  can be your future reference  , just in case.  d( ^_^d )

 

Here are the reasons :

 

a)  The White House is not big enough for the First Couple’s immediate family, in – laws, and extended  relatives to live in..

b)  There are not enough White House parking  spaces  for the extended relatives’ cars.

c)  The White House will smell of fried dried fish( tuyo )  , fish sauce  ( patis ) , and the stinkiest of them all, shrimp paste ( Filipinos call  it bagoong , pronounced bah-goh-ong )

d)  Since Filipinos  cook too much , foreign dignitaries and VIPs   will be flabbergasted to receive  food to ” take home ” , and  for their secretaries and  drivers , as well….. and they cannot refuse,  because the First Couple will insist on it.  Of course, expensive Tupperware plastics will be used, instead of recycled plastic food containers. Another thing,  state dinners will always be buffet, eat all you can.

Below is a typical Iglesias  food spread, for  6 or 7 people.  At the White House, I’m sure they will be serving one whole roasted pig  called  lechon, guests will get in line,and there will be a classy sous chef who will slice off  crunchy, melt in your mouth pig skin for the special ,  pork eating  dignitaries. d( ^_^d )

 

 

e)  The First Couple will redecorate  the dining room wall  with a huge bas relief or painting  of  Leonardo da Vinci’s   Jesus’ Last Supper, (  tee hee .. we have that here at home )  and,  a small statue of Baby Jesus ( Santo Nino ) ,or of  the Blessed Virgin Mary will appear somewhere in one corner of the White House formal  living room. How does one know if the house is owned by a Filipino family ?  There’s a Last Supper  on the dining room wall.

 

Last Supper wall decor

 

f)  The Presidential car , and all WH staff cars  will have a rosary hanging on the rear view mirror.

 

 

g)   Budget  staff  will not allocate  funds for karaoke for each White House room.  * we have one at our house….  called Magic Mic .   How does one  know if a house is owned by a Filipino family ?  There is a karaoke machine in the house. *

 

h)  Air Force One will not allow  overweight  Balikbayan boxes on the plane.

DSCN2426

 

I hope my Filipino readers will not get offended by this post.  It’s true Filipino culture, admit it.  (^___^)

This is all for now. Thank you for reading

 

 

 

 

41 responses to this post.

  1. LOL so true about the food! I been to a lot of filipino dinners in the past and it’s always enough to feed all the marines in the states AND their friends haha! I love it though, so much life and joy 🙂

    Reply

  2. I don’t think there is enough closet space in the White House for the First Lady’s shoes. does the White House have a nursery? I’m sure there would be a lot of little kids running around. and I’m not sure we would know what the President would be saying. every other phrase out of his mouth would be “It’s OK” and we wouldn’t know if it meant “Yes”, “No”, “Maybe”.

    Reply

  3. Hahaha! Very true.. and don’t forget the slippers and shoes that should be left outside.

    Reply

  4. same reasons we don’t win an ‘american idol’ 😀

    Reply

  5. Totoo! But I think meron din Altar sa taas ng lumang television set. Classic din yun. Lahat ng sinabi mo ginagawa din sa States? Nakakatuwa lang.

    Reply

    • I’d been to Filipino parties, and OMG, I was forced to do karaoke. ( although after 2 songs, I monopolized the freakin’ karaoke, and I wasn’t even drunk. ) )

      Reply

  6. LMAO. Great post. My former co-worker is Filipino and when he invited us over for Christmas dinner there was so much food. I was like “It’s only 4 of us. Why so much food?” But, you can’t beat the hospitality. All that extra food means that you can make sure the homeless who sleep outside the White House will have a hot meal.

    Reply

    • Or at least, to the homeless shelters !

      Yeah, Filipinos cook too much, they just can’t help it. When you were at the Filipino party, did you notice the different kinds of desserts ?

      Reply

  7. This was a very good post. Could have been Colombia in the interior of the country, with the last supper in the dining room, the “lechona” roasting in the kitchen, temperature above 100 degrees and you cannot turn the ventilator on because the grandmother (abuela) catches a cold. 🙂
    (Get well soon)

    Reply

    • LOL I know, right ? I’ve seen pictures of typical South American homes, and yeah, they do look like a typical Filipino home. I even saw an image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus hanging on the wall.

      Reply

      • Absolutely. The bus drivers have a picture hanging below the rearview mirror. Which is only fair, considering the speed at which they drive. 🙂 Hope all is ok with you. Ciao ciao.

        Reply

  8. I love crunchy pig skin, yummy! 🙂 All my co-workers are Filipino so I get to eat a lot of tasty stuff, especially on b-days.

    Reply

    • Filipino foods are so savory they need to eat a lot of rice to temper all that savoriness ( if theres such a word , lol ) … like we cannot eat adobo alone, there should be rice.

      Reply

  9. ROTFL! I think Filipino can be replaced by ‘Indian’ for almost all points in this post. I had a good laugh.

    Reply

  10. I laughed so hard when I read this!
    All of my filipina/Filipino friends have karaoke machines! Have rosaries in their cars, have lots of left over food! Yum yum. Who would be happy to have left over food?! Me! 😄
    I think if a Filipino doesn’t become US president, the idea should become a TV show!
    No offense!
    It would be so cute!
    🙌😊

    Reply

    • OMG, these cultural habits are sooooo true ! ! ! Especially karaoke time at every Filipino parties ! ! I didn’t even talk about dance parties. Most Filipinos go to dance exercises, or take up ballroom dancing, and line dances, and depending on the size of the room, there are always choreographed line dancing…..( my mom always joins coz she knows the dance steps. )

      Reply

      • My friends are so good at dancing. I love watching them dance at work or on their fb or at parties!
        I also love singing with them. Unfortunately we can never remember all the words!😉

        Reply

  11. I have a few Filipina friends so got this more than I usually would, I think next time a Filipino should run with this post as the key points to the campaign.

    Reply

  12. This reminds me of my sister in law and the spread she would put out when we came to visit. Now I really really really want some lumpia!

    Reply

  13. Wow now this is some creative FUNNY!!! I had a good belly laugh. It’s always refreshing to look at the world through a different set of lenses. Very talented writer, you are. Thanks for sharing! And your commenters are also very insightful!

    Reply

  14. This was..Yes I will call it awesome! !

    Reply

  15. Hey this is great….. Sounds very interesting……by any chance, are you single 😋?

    Reply

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