I don’t want to speak ill of the dead…. pero…..

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What are you talking about, Ren ?  Well, check out my previous post.   It’s still a hush-hush situation in  my family, but we did get to learn a few details, and I’m telling you, guys,  SLAMS  TABLE ! ! ! ——–>  FLIPS TABLE ! ! !———>  BURNS TABLE ! ! !   I get butterflies in my stomach every time I think of  his 6, 8 and 12 year old kids.   Don’t get me wrong..  I  feel extremely  sad that the husband of my cousin did not seek the help of his family before doing the incomprehensible deed.  Our closely – knit family would unite and help ,there was no doubt about that.  My mother said the Filipino ” AMOR PROPIO ”  culture was a big factor in his decision to commit suicide. He couldn’t face the shame.

What is this Filipino value Amor  Propio?


Simply… it means this  …..


Amor Propio or self – worth, self – esteem, pride ….. that  leads   to   ——->  HIYA  or shame.


This is all  for now.






12 responses to this post.

  1. I hope his family is coping well Ren.


    • I guess ….. we’ve talked to them but only to give our sympathies, and to ask them if they need some financial help ( they do of course) … they said they were okay… but we sent money just the same…. they’re coping, that’s for sure. The family just moved in at her mother’s home, and they’re gonna rent out their house. That makes more sense.


  2. That’s really sad. It wonderful to see when relatives and true friends extend helping hand.


  3. That’s really sad. My heart goes out to you and all his family. I can’t imagine what brought him to this pass with three young children to guide and support


    • It’s incomprehensible, Peter Wells. He was a top finance officer of one of the largest corporation in Asia. We’ve learned a few details of the why’s, but we think they are not insurmountable. As I said on my post, “amor propio ” and ” shame” played a big factor in this tragedy. Non-Filipinos will not understand amor propio and shame….just as a non Japanese cannot understand harakiri.


  4. engaging and relaxing


  5. It must be very hard for you all. My love and prayers to his family and all who have been affected 😦


  6. That’s too bad. Condolences.


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