The Worst ! An Update on ” Domestic Disturbance “

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Kindly read the previous post. This is just an update.

 

So, the disturbance occurred  early Tuesday morning.  I went out  at 12:30 PM , same day, for my annual dental appointment .  While waiting for the dentist to see me, I got a call from my cousin who said that guy was back, and he was  with another guy. I got called by the dentist at that moment so I  told her not to confront them  and to just  call the cops. ( Dental  work took longer than expected)  My mother was with me, but left to do some shopping at nearby grocery and  didn’t know about the call. Anyways, I called back my cousin   on our drive home, ( about 3 :30 PM ) and we were informed she did call  the cops………. and 4 police cars arrived , with 4 cops. Why so many ? Well, there were 2 hostile  men, and the situation was , 2 cops per person, just in case.  o.O”  (This is America, folks.)  She also told me they were gone,  so it was safe to come home.

 

Then, guess what happened  when we arrived.

 

My ex and a companion  parked their car somewhere where they could see our arrival. We were surprised to see them drive over the pavement , and over a portion of our driveway, DIAGONALLY !  That is how cops   park their cars  when  they want  to block a road. Right ?   Mom calmly told  them to get off our property. How about me ? Well,  I had a mental block.  Then Mom called my cousin and told her to bring Taylor out and hand her over to this guy. It was my cousin’s boyfriend who came out with the dog, and told him , ”  you have the dog, now get off the property.” The 2 guys looked like they were going to punch him. (  They had a heated argument  earlier before the cops came. ) We were surprised to see our 2 neighbors  rushed over to help us.  ( I didn’t even notice they were there ) Their conversation was loud and heated. When the neighbors threatened to call the cops , they left hurriedly , with our dog, who was then barking crazily.

 

Guys, my story  is  condensed and  sanitized.

 

It’s weird that one of the things I do remember  is the image  of 3 brown women ( Mom, cousin and  I ) huddling together and 5 adult  white men having a loud , heated conversation.

 

Also, I’d like to thank those who showed their concern and suggestions in their comments . Although I wasn’t able to respond , I’d like you to know they’re very much appreciated.

 

One good news.  I’m getting a new dog  from the animal shelter and he already has a name…. Holden.

 

This is all for now. Thank you for reading and peace.

24 responses to this post.

  1. Hugs!
    That would be so scary! I think we all handle conflict and confrontation differently, due to our fight and flight response.
    Kudos to you and your mom for being so brave!
    Hopefully if your ex has the dog now ☹️ He will leave you alone!

    Reply

  2. Keep safe Ren. Ingat lagi. Baka bumalik ulit yan to pester you.

    Reply

    • I don’t think so, Tita Arlene….. so many people already know about him. * crosses fingers*

      yesterday and today ,I checked out the area before I got on the car…… I hope I can make a habit of it…… you never know. Ugh….. as one commenter stated, ” how did you get yourself in that situation ? Sweet mary….. as if .

      Reply

  3. . . . let me ask . . . in the last few months that he’s been texting and calling, had he ever asked about the dog? I’m not talking about last July; I’m talking about this year.

    By the way, you should block his number and never, ever communicate with him again. I still think all my previous advice stands, and perhaps even more so now.

    . . . but I’m so hoping I’m wrong and it was, after all, just about the dog.

    Reply

    • I’m so stupid , disperser. It didn’t occur to me I could block his number. I did that Tuesday though…. and I received so many ” Unidentified number “.

      No, he never asked about the dog.

      It’s weird why he was so eager to get our dog…. The dog came home with me from the shelter. But I think he signed the dog out with his name on the papers, but I paid the adoption fee of $100.

      I wanted to stand my ground ( My mother, as well…. after all, she was the one who actually took care of her…. she’s a stay-at-home mom ) But, we couldn’t handle this ,anymore. Your comment about other people getting involved and harmed made me think about giving the dog up. We love the dog dearly, but our safety is more precious.

      Reply

    • Look, I could sit here and tell you what I think, but I strongly suggest you speak with someone who has experience in these matters.

      There are behavioral patterns you describe that have all sorts of bells going off in my brain. However, that’s my nature. Still, I find it strange that the dog once again became a point of focus nine months after he said you could have the dog and shortly after you shot down his efforts for reconciliation.

      I’m overly cautious and tend to imagine the worse as a way to prevent the worse.

      Hence why you should get in touch with some organization that deals with these types of situations. Or, at least, ask the police if they can connect you with someone who can give you an opinion with regard to his behavior (I presume there’s now a report of at least the last incident with the cops).

      One thing I would not do is hope for rationality from someone who acts irrationally.

      Ask question. Inform yourself.

      Reply

      • My favorite shows are crime shows, ( Forensic Files, True Crime , etc) . I’m a Forensics grad , so I assure you all sorts of bells are ringing in my brain, as well. I don’t want to be a statistic, but I’m painfully aware this kind of behavior is one of the most dangerous ones that can lead to criminal act. It’s embarrassing to talk about how I need to change my route every so often, I check out the area ( short of looking behind the bushes , aaaaargh ) and I’ve asked my family to wait outside the house for my arrival at night until such time I deem it safe enough to relax a bit.

        I’m not taking this lightly.

        Reply

      • OK, good to hear. I mean, bad to hear but it’s good you’re not minimizing the situation.

        Sorry to have harped on the matter but your writing came across as if this wasn’t treated with the seriousness I thought it deserved.

        On a side note, I can tell you those habits — while annoying — are not all that bad. It’s now been twenty years or so since I got my threats, but the habit of being aware of who is around me and to pay attention to behavior never went away and I’m kind of glad I have it.

        I still check out cars that park near me when I approach my car (keys in hand and held defensively – my keychain is a kubotan), and still position myself to minimize someone surprising me from behind be it outside or in enclosed areas, and, of course, our doors are always locked.

        When we settle, I’ll probably carry again as that’s yet another layer of comfort and security that I miss (in addition to pepper spray and a knife). Yes, it kind of sucks to live in that way . . . but not when considering the extremely negative alternatives. Besides, it made me a better photographer as I notice things I might otherwise miss.

        Good luck and take care.

        Reply

  4. I agree with the comments from Dispercer above. I couldn’t be more sorry that you find yourself in such a situation. It is beyond horrible and nerve-wracking and I do hope you manage to get it resolved. You are very much in my thoughts x

    Reply

  5. Yikes. Be safe. And i agree it would be sensible to speak to someone (lawyer?) with experience in these situations.

    Reply

    • Funny thing is, I love to watch true crime shows , like Forensic Files, so much so that I majored in Forensics Science ( and Microbiology ) . Such irony. I’m living in a true crime reality show now and I’m the major character. It’s so surreal.

      Reply

  6. I hope you and Holden will be very happy together! And hopefully no more scary drama.

    Reply

  7. Be safe Ren! Has he any criminal liability for those acts he committed? As far as I know, here in the Philippines, what he has done is considered “unjust vexation.” If found guilty, a person can spend up to 30 days in prison for such misdemeanor. It’s a minor offense.

    Reply

  8. Very very sad indeed to hear this. I’m also very sorry to say that I suspect your troubles are not over. Looking at how he has behaved, what’s he’s tried to do and so on…I think he’ll be back and now he’s won over the dog he will be even worse. This is about holding power over you. It’s not about the dog at all. I really, really, really hope I’m wrong and that you never hear from him again. But…I fear I’m going to be right… 😦

    Reply

  9. I’m so sorry what a nightmare to have to deal with. Good luck friend.

    Reply

  10. At the moment staying safe is the priority. So just keep a look out for everyone whenever stepping out. All will be well soon. Take care 🤞

    Reply

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