HOME DISTURBANCE ! !

00000003

 

I posted about this HERE.

 

It happened again last night…. actually this morning around 12 AM to 2 AM.

 

To summarize what happened in July, 2017….. I broke up  with my boyfriend, then he demanded that I return ” his ” dog , or else, he’d sue me…..and he came over at 3 AM but he didn’t create a disturbance when we didn’t open the door.

 

But today, it was different.  So, okay, he said he wouldn’t get ” his ” dog back anymore. But then, 4 months ago, he started texting and calling me about us getting back together….. I’ve been saying NO very politely  but he didn’t stop…………… but last night on my  drive home, he called again. I was driving , and very tired,  darn it,  so I yelled on the phone   STOP CALLING ME AND GO AWAY ! !  I mean,  his texts and calls have already become a form of stalking and harassment !  When I got home, ( about 10 PM ) he texted  and threatened he’d come over to get ” his ” dog back . So, we turned off all the lights , then , around 12 , the doorbell started ringing  without let-up, and at the same time, texting  me ( I received 25 texts ) , and said he had called the police. ( I actually got a voicemail from the police ) . We also heard him  say , in a rather loud voice , ” I know you’re in there, Ren. Don’t make it hard on you and your family.  I JUST WANT MY DOG BACK ! ”

 

Meanwhile, we forgot  my cousin would come home at 1 AM ( from her part time job delivering Domino’s Pizza,  ^__^ ” ) . Then we heard her enter the house, heard voices,   and we were like, OMG, did she let him in ???? She was like, ” are you kidding ? ”   She then called her BF, and on the phone, she said , ” There’s a 6 ft. tall angry dude at our doorstep,  can you come over, please and   don’t come in, just park the car outside and stay in the car, call me,  and let us know what he’s doing. ”  Believe it or not, it was already 2: 15 AM when he finally left. The BF came , parked, and kept the headlights on…… just to let the ex know there’s a witness, just in case.

 

Where was Dad while this was happening ?  Dad is a heavy sleeper… so yeah, he was happily snoring in La la land, thank goodness.   Otherwise, there’d be a huge commotion between him and this guy.  Yikes.

 

Guys, a question…… should I be worried ?  I don’t think he owns a gun.

 

So, this is it…. Thanks for reading and peace !  (~.~)

 

Check out my manga /anime/video games blogsite  @ https://2megaworthitwordpresscomblog.wordpress.com/

 

Bye !  Wish me luck ! !

 

 

33 responses to this post.

  1. Irrational behavior like this sounds worrisome to me. Please take care for yourself.

    Reply

  2. Have you looked into getting a restraining order?

    Reply

  3. Why did You let Yourself get into that situation ❓

    Reply

  4. His behavior is very aggressive – he’s looking for a confrontation. You will have to extrapolate from his past to make a determination of what you think he may be capable of. But the fact that he’s arriving so late and making such a scene when he knows your father is there is a big cause for concern.

    Getting a restraining order can also be dangerous because that can also push someone over the edge and make them go to the next level to show they can’t be controlled/stopped.

    What’s the deal with the dog? Was is a mutual buy that you would like to keep? I’d recommends just giving him the dog, but if it’s mutal and you have an attachment for it, you have a right keep it. Plus, he may then choose to fixate on something else is his main focus is to stay in your life.

    Perhaps send him a email and tell him to file a court order if you want to keep the dog and that you will call the police if he continues this type of behavior. You want to state your boundaries without escalating the situation.

    Maybe he just needs some type of “back at you” victory for closure. Is there anything you have of his that you don’t want, but can pretend to be “ultra angry/sad” in giving it up?

    Reply

    • Some good advice here and some bad. The bad is the role-playing “letting him win” scenario.

      Very difficult to pull off especially since, as correctly pointed out, it’s not the dog. He’s not been texting and calling about wanting the dog back. He wants to get back together.

      This is a no-win situation that should be taken seriously and trying to fake a “get back at you” scenario has the potential for major failure. Heck, if that’s the case, get back with him and make his life miserable until he breaks up with you. Does that sound like it would work?

      Assume that his goal is to get back together. Whatever other demands he makes are just things that in his mind are steps toward achieving his goal. He will see each of those as a victory toward his goal and won’t stop.

      Reply

      • I preface my commentary with “perhaps” and “maybe” because my specialty is neither in law enforcement or psychology/social work.

        I make no claims of having any solution, just considerations to ponder when analyzing the situation.

        Unless you have specialty backgrounds in the areas I mentioned above, you would be better served refraining from making concrete conclusions on what’s on this guys mind and what his ultimate agenda/behavior is.

        Reply

      • I’m sorry to have stepped on your ego, but only one of us suggested a scenario based on him getting appeased by a childish ruse.

        First and foremost, this is not about you or me.

        Second, there is a threat. I 100% agree she should get professional help from organizations and people who deal with this type of threats.

        That’s the only advice I provide along with saying there’s no downside to taking this seriously and mentally preparing oneself (if not outright expecting) for things to go south.

        If you take offense to my criticism of your “maybe” proposed play-acting scenario . . . well, it’s only my opinion and I don’t count.

        Reply

        • Being that this guy is clearly acting like a child in tantrum mode, a “childish” solution by your assessment could very well work.

          I made some suggestions, but you clearly feel confident enough not only to make conclusions on what won’t work, but gave a psyche profile on the guy’s intentions and how he will respond.

          It’s not about ego. Like I said, I’m not the expert and I would welcome the solid advice from such people – especially if I’m off base in anything I said. But for someone who is not an expert to step in and play the role of judge is a bit ridiculous, and dangerous because you give the appearance that you have more knowledge about the topic than you actually do.

          I also agree that this isn’t about you or me, so I won’t comment further so as not to continue to pollute the main thread.

          Reply

  5. I’ve commented on both previous posts regarding this.

    I said you know him best as far as knowing if he is dangerous . . . except people often have a blind spot when it comes to people they know too well. Meaning, they cannot imagine the worst.

    Before I repeat my advice, I don’t understand why you didn’t call the cops. I said it on the last e-mail that at the very least, it establishes a precedent for any future action.

    You should also save the text messages and calls (I think California is one of the states that have a stalking law — check into it). Here, let me get you started:

    http://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center/stalking-laws/criminal-stalking-laws-by-state/california

    https://www.safehorizon.org/get-help/stalking/#overview/

    Now, all that is fine and well . . . except that realistically, very little can be done ahead of concrete action and even then, it doesn’t keep certain types of individuals at bay or keep them from doing harm.

    My advice? Worry. Expect the worst. Prepare. It sucks, but that’s the truth of it.

    My approach would be two-fold. One is informing friends, employer, and especially family that this is a potentially dangerous individual (from what you described, he is).

    Two, and you may think this also sucks, get trained up. Buy a gun for protection and if possible, get a carry permit. Learn some real-world self-defense fighting. Carry pepper spray. Carry a defensive knife (knives that are small and sharp and pointed that can be deployed quickly if you’re grabbed).

    Learn situational awareness (as important as everything else).

    Most important, your mindset needs to change. You need to admit to yourself that you are in a potentially dangerous situation. You need to be prepared — mentally and physically — for the eventuality of a physical confrontation.

    Don’t make the mistake of relying on others to either offer protection or run interference. For one, you’re putting them in danger.

    I’ve linked a couple of sites, but you should also talk to the police; someone who can give you advice and what you can expect in these types of situation. If all they say is to get a restraining order, you’re talking to the wrong person. Reach out to organizations like the ones mentioned above.

    I know you hate the NRA, but they have classes specifically targeted at women. If not the NRA, get with some organization that will assist you in preparing for what you hope will never happen.

    Finally . . . there are two kinds of people; those who wish the world was different and those who accept the world as it is. A majority of victims come from the first group of people.

    If this hasn’t scared you into taking serious and decisive steps to protect yourself and your family, then I’ve not done my job. Not that this is my job. That’s why I suggest you find someone expert in dealing with the breadth and scope of these types of situations.

    Understand, I’m not trying to set your mind at ease. I want you to worry, expect the worst, and prepare. It sucks, but that’s the truth of it.

    Reply

    • Yep, this is the one in moderation.

      Let me digest all the comments first.

      There was a bit of disturbance that occurred when I was out for my dental appointment. I was with my mother and it was only my cousin who was at home. Good thing her BF arrived to check up on us…. about 30 minutes later, that guy and his friend arrived too, and blocked our driveway…. I mean he parked over the sidewalk and a portion of our driveway, diagonally, like the way cops park to block the road

      To be continued …..

      Reply

  6. My comment went into moderation. When you have a chance (soon) read it.

    Reply

  7. You need to get a restraining order on this guy and have him thrown in jail if he comes at you again.

    Reply

  8. Yikes. Be safe.

    Reply

  9. Stay alert, and keep records of everything that happens. The dog is definitely a pretext, and while it’s easy to say just to give him the dog back in hopes he’ll go away, I’m sure you love your dog dearly. It probably wouldn’t stop his behavior, but giving the dog back would definitely remove any pretext of texting you and would give you a stronger case for some sort of restraining order.
    Unfortunately, as others have said, this is a no-win situation. You don’t want things to escalate, but there is no guaranteed way to deescalate things. Changing your number might help stop the texts and calls, but it won’t do anything if he’s coming over. Change up your route to your car every day. Walk with someone. Go a little out of your way to avoid any run-ins with him, and set up a code word/phrase with your friends and family in case of an emergency. Perhaps consult a lawyer about the dog to send him a legal letter staking your claim, and even if you don’t file a restraining order, hopefully you can at least file a report so that he’s on their radar at least.
    Good luck and stay safe!

    Reply

  10. I agree with Houseman. Look into getting a restraining order.

    Reply

  11. Peace back to you. Look, you live in the US of A. You have evidence. Witnesses. File a complaint and get a restraining order. No point in taking risks.
    Be careful. Those guys are stupid.
    (And let us know please)

    Reply

  12. Oh my, I’d be nervous encountering this guy you mentioned. Maybe it’s wise just to give the dog back. But considering it was intended as a gift you before, it might not be wise at all. Do you think he’ll stop pestering you once that’s done?

    Reply

  13. Ms. Renx. Be careful and always alert. Do not take any risks. Safety first . Do not make confrontations. Talk to parents or family. Request protection. I wish you luck.

    Reply

  14. call 9-11 next time. let the police handle him.

    Reply

  15. The problem with a restraining order is that when guys like this are bent on getting their way, a restraining order isn’t going to stop him. But I would still get one, just to have his threats ‘on record.’ And yes, request protection (and consider self-protection in the form of a gun).

    Reply

  16. I would be concerned, and I am concerned because you matter to me. I should report this to the police, tell them what time it happened and then show them all the texts on your phone. This is clear-cut stalking and he needs to be dealt with. Poor poor you. How stressful this must be and my thoughts are with you. Please keep us informed x

    Reply

  17. There are several ways to deal this…..I think you can compensate him for his dog and take the ownership, and if he doesn’t agree then take legal advice and help to sort this out once and for all…..
    And don’t worry about the gun, nobody is interested is interested in getting into trouble…… But then, same time you should consider his mental condition which may become a reason of violence……
    If he is a good person, try to make him understand, and if things work back, nothing like that…… Don’t worry God will make things better, and everything happens for the good…..

    Reply

  18. Sounds like you made the right choice to split with him. Do what you must to take care of you!

    Reply

  19. Absolutely no doubt in my mind that he is harassing you and you need to call the police if he does it again. You have all he proof of texts and phone calls including that of his giving up rights to claim the dog. He’s very clearly not completely sane and you need to protect yourself and your family. Go to the police and lodge a complaint.

    Reply

  20. Disperser nailed it. Be safe and don’t just trust it will all be all right. Be proactive.

    Reply

  21. I wish I was your brother ren…. Smh

    Reply

  22. I’m happy to know you are safe. As the American abolitionist Wendell Phillips wrote, “Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty.” Well, eternity is a long time, but I trust that for the time being you will continue to Take Care.

    Reply

  23. If he entered your home then he was trespassing.
    A good rule of thumb is if someone is harassing you by text never reply. If you reply on the 50th text then that just tells them it takes 50 attempts to get you to reply.
    This person sounds like he has no boundaries and I would call the police every single time he comes near you.
    I didn’t read the other responses these are just my thoughts based on experiences of my own.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: