A 5-K Run, a Hypothetical Question

 

Hi,  Renxkyoko Iglesias here .

 

” Happy ” Independence Day, fellow Americans.

 

I just participated in a 5 K – Run this morning. It’s called  Run for  Freedom.  It was my first run , and my finish time was 25 minutes. ( pics will follow soon , but not on this post )

 

I have a hypothetical question. There’s this girl who broke up with her boyfriend . Two years ago, they went to the animal shelter to adopt a dog. The dog chosen was a month old puppy. Although she paid the adoption fees,  the puppy was registered under the boyfriend’s name.  The girl took care of the dog from  day one, and she’s now 2 years old,. But then a week ago,  the girl finally managed to break up with the boyfriend. ( She’s been contemplating breaking up for over a year ) The guy got so mad that he threatened to come over to get ” his ” dog. The girl woke up the family and told them not to open the door ( it was 2 AM ) . He did come, but no one opened the door and thank goodness, he left immediately.  He called up again and said he was going to take her to court if she didn’t hand over the dog.  Her mother was so angry too that she said if he or anyone came over again, she’d call the cops.

 

The girl told her co workers about this problem. They said she should gather proofs that she was the true owner of the dog ( like medical bills ,etc ), and they also advised her to watch her back because it looks like he is THAT kind of person.

 

The question is, should she stand her ground ?

 

 

63 responses to this post.

  1. Absolutely! She should stand her ground and not be bullied or intimidated, if necessary get a restraining order from the court. I can see the breakup was certainly justified, she must have experienced some sort of psychological or verbal abuse.

    Congrats on the 5K, 25 mins is a very good time!

    Reply

  2. Congratulations on your first run. As far as the dog, is that in California? Does the municipality where your friend lives requires dog licenses and if so, did she pay for it?

    California courts have self-help centers and your friend should pay a visit and inquire about a restraining order. In California, pets can be included as protected property that her ex cannot remove. Since the ex has come to her house in the middle of the night, after making threats of doing so, your friend might consider filing for a restraining order anyway.

    Reply

    • Yes, the issue ‘s in California. Yes, a license is required, and although the girl paid for everything, the license is in his name…. I mean, he is registered as the owner. But for all intents and purposes, she’s the owner . She took her home straight from the shelter, and the dog ( a female dog ) became the family dog.

      Oh, my. A restraining order ? It feels like the restraining order is for the girl. Sheesh, it feels like a custody battle. Aaaargh. What a pain !

      Reply

      • Restraining orders aren’t worth the paper they’re written on if the guy is a nut job. I can’t tell you how many times I heard or read about such a guy who ignored a restraining order and went as far as to kill, or try to kill, his former girl friend. I would advise the girl in this case to think hard about whether she believes the guy is capable of violence, and if so, let it go. It’s not worth taking a chance on your life, because that piece of paper isn’t going to protect you if he goes off the deep end.

        Reply

  3. Ouch. Sounds like a messy divorce. Reminds me of one of my friends. He had been dating his girlfriend for many years and they decided to buy a house. Recently she broke up with him and hooked up with another guy. Needless to say he had to move out because she had put the house under her name.

    Reply

    • I know ! !
      It wasn’t a smart move , putting the house under the girlfriend’s name, and they’re not even married. He has no legal recourse.

      Reply

      • Yeah, I feel bad for him. He was very naive. A year before the break he would say stuff like “she’s the most important person in my life” so he probably felt they would be together forever.

        He works really weird hours so he would leave all the house paperwork stuff in her hands. Being too trusting can bite you back.

        Reply

        • Ownership, inheritance, etc….. it could get really ugly. In fact, I know of so many cases where the rightful, legal owners and heirs were left with nothing .

          Inheritance is not a big deal here in the US, I notice, unless it involves millions of $$$$. This will be one of my topics soon.

          Reply

  4. Ah, but are pets considered just another type of personal property in California? In Michigan, they still are, but I think California might be a little more advanced. Another wrinkle for you. Congrats on that 5K run–the time is not too shabby. 🙂

    Reply

    • I know right ? It’s very stressful. Anyway, if its ” personal property, that means, if the license is in his name, and registered in his name, then, she loses ? I’m not sure, but in Cali, I think dogs are not personal properties….. like, they are considered like human beings, not a property, and therefore, judgement will be subjective.

      I hope my time will be better. I ‘m going to participate again in Novemebre, when it’s cooler. Today, the temperature was brutal. Good thing I didn’t collapse from heatstroke. It happened to me once.

      Reply

  5. Well, hypothetically speaking, I would suggest hiring a hitman to take the guy out as he seems like a waste of human flesh. If that’s hypothetically illegal, I would hypothetically employ the ole King Solomon way of settling custody/ownership disputes.

    If that is also hypothetically off the table, I would hypothetically enroll the dog into the witness protection program, getting her a new identity and perhaps wearing a poodle disguise (unless it is a poodle, in which case try a chihuahua disguise).

    Of course, if it’s not hypothetical, I might suggest waiting to see what the jerk does after some suitable cooling-off time. If he is a dangerous and abusive person, I would be more worried about the person than the dog, but as far as the dog, she should get together vet receipts, food receipts, etc. etc. showing she has been the actual caretaker for the dog. That’s in case he does sue and lays a claim on the dog.

    I would also get ahead of the game and consult a lawyer (consultations are usually free, but not always).

    As far as him showing up at the house, that is definitely cop-worthy. In fact, they should have called the cops on the first incident so as to establish a precedent for any later restraining order. Again, if he is someone to worry about, the order will do little beyond pissing him off. I would get a decent pepper spray (if legal). It’s California, so I assume they frown on getting licenses to carry guns, but she should look into what is legal as far as personal protection. Again, check the law as to what is legal to carry.

    She might be the best judge as to what he is capable of, but depending on how bad the breakup was, I would plan on watching my back if I was her . . .

    . . . unless I could get a hitman and have permanent peace of mind. Mind you, I’m not advising she does that (that would likely be illegal, both for her to do and me to suggest it); I’m just saying that I’ve heard it done and read about it in books and seen it in movies.

    Reply

    • Hypothetical …. bahahahahaha ! ! I get it, loud and clear ! Your comments are always sooooo interesting, disperser. You just made my day. He he

      Reply

  6. The American legal system classifies pets as property (unfortunately). Therefore, it is proof of ownership that determines custody of a family pet; in your story, a dog. In determining ownership, (1) registration and license, (2) vet records, (3) microchip records, and (4) pedigree registries are often considered.

    So, I think if it goes to court, the boyfriend might just win custody over the dog. The best thing is to tell the boyfriend the dog strayed away (but have someone else take care of the dog for a couple of months).

    IMO 🙂

    Reply

    • Judge Judy, who I think is filmed in LA, decided a case involving a dog once by having the dog brought in front of her bench, then let go, and watched which party the dog went to. If the situation involves other property, the friend can file a case then contact Judge Judy’s producers to see if she will hear the case. That would be fun, then we can all watch.

      Reply

    • Each state has their own laws, as well ( federal vs state laws ). Sometimes, they even clash. Ex: Af far as federal law is concerned, marijuana is considered a dangerous drug, and therefore , it is illegal to possess it, but there are states where marijuana is legal, either for medicinal purpose only or for both medicinal and leisure. ( California, Washington, Colorado ) . I think it’s the same with animal ownership. In New Jersey, it’s illegal to own a pitbull, but not in other states. In California, as stated by Xena, animals are not considered ” property “. Just like in human’s custody battles, a lot of factors are involved. ( such as the case of Judge Judy’s in Xena’s comment. )

      Reply

  7. Congratulations on your run, Ren!
    Happy Fourth of July!
    I think she stood her ground. She took of the dog. Essentially the dog could be considered their child. He did nothing to contribute to the wellbeing of their dog.
    He just wants the dog for revenge. Once he has the dog he will try to emotionally blackmail her or wedge himself back into her life

    Reply

    • I signed up again for a November run .

      My coworkers said the same thing, that he was blackmailing the girl. ” Stay with me, or else, I will take your beloved dog. “

      Reply

  8. Well…in my opinion she should definitely stand her ground. It simply feels that the dog is hers anyway, especially since the guy never took care of the dog in the first place. Simply amazing that me after the break up, he suddenly “cares” for the it. Totally pointless in my opinion. So yeah, she should really stand her ground! 😊

    Reply

    • I’m happy to know that in California, even if the guy is technically the owner of the dog, the dog is given to the primary caregiver.

      Reply

  9. All this advice is well intented but she should really seek legal advice. A restraining order, though, is a good idea. He sounds potentially physically threatening.

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  10. Yes, seems she has not done anything wrong. In fact, she took take of him and dog!

    Reply

  11. Congratulations on your first 5K run and you turned in a very good time. As for the girl and the dog; yes, the dog is her dog and I believe the courts will support that if she can document she is the one who has been caring for the dog. A better question is what the heck was she doing with this guy to begin with; his behavior is horrible and I suspect he had shown this trait way early in their relationship. Her problems will be much bigger than a dog issue if she doesn’t choose more wisely going forward.

    Reply

    • I do believe the court will be on her side, if it comes to this .

      I ‘d like to believe he got very hurt and just wanted to lash back in the heat of the moment. * although he did show his true colors *

      Reply

  12. I think she should stand her ground. If he takes her to court, the law may actually be on her side, but any dog-loving judge will know who the dog’s person is, and she could very well win.

    Reply

    • And, her mother said if worse comes to worst, she should tell him to pay for the cost of taking care of ” his” dog. ( vet bills for her shots, when she got sick, when she got spayed, and her $ 120 a month food bill for 2 years , and $10 a day service …. that’s the cost of having someone take care of a dog for a day )

      Reply

  13. Sounds like she is well rid of the guy.

    Reply

  14. Posted by john on July 5, 2017 at 5:04 pm

    hypothetically speaking, Since she has finally gotten rid of the guy, why keep any vestiges of the r/l? She should just give the boyfriend the dog and move on. there are better things in life to worry about. Let the guy now pay those bills and be done with it. That shifts the emotional baggage to him lets him deal with it. maybe he’ll grow up in the process.

    Reply

  15. Posted by John on July 5, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    Since this was your first run, did you get tired out or were you tempted to cut the course? I’m reminded of the blogger, Jane Seo, in florida who got caught cheating a couple of months ago and didn’t really have a good reason for doing that. I used to run but was never any good, but the thought of cheating never crossed my mind as that defeated the whole purpose of being out there. But then again I was just in the race for a t-shirt.

    Reply

    • It was just a short run….. and there were thousands of people along the route that watched the run. There was no way a participant could cheat.

      I wanted to buy a T-shirt but they ran out of it. I was given a button , though. ~_~

      I did get very, very tired. The 80 year old man who was running ahead of me gave me the motivation to continue on even though my knees were starting to give up. It’s funny but one middle – aged lady who was behind me said I was her dangling carrot , ha ha. ( I wore a neon -colored orange tank top ) I was her motivation to continue on.

      Reply

      • Posted by John on July 9, 2017 at 3:21 am

        well it sounds like you did well. the first triathlon I was ever in I got really sick in the run portion but I kept on going. back in those days running was first, biking second, and swimming last. I doubt you would find any races organized in that order these days. But yeah I think if I was following a carrot, I’d probably find a motivation to keep going. Alas, these days, I’m not a runner, nor a biker, nor a swimmer. I’m more of a floater. Give me a tube, a case of beer and I’ll happily watch the runners / swimmers go by as I’m floating in my tube drinking my beers.

        Reply

  16. Yes – fight. I know how I feel about my dog. I would do whatever it takes to keep him. I think the guy is playing games, because he’s a jerk. I don’t think he’ll go any further. As for the 5K – I used to be a runner in the distant past, and going 3.1 miles in 25 minutes is fantastic!

    Reply

    • Although it is my first time to run in this kind of event, I do some running around the neighborhood at least once a week.

      About the guy….. blackmail, that’s the game he’s playing.

      Reply

  17. Yes she should. The man is just using a technicality to cause her distress. He’s not that interested in the dog or he would have done more of the practical caring when they were still together. No wonder she broke up with him !

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  18. Absolutely.

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  19. Congrats on the the 5K – that’s a good time!

    I would say that’s a complicated question to answer for several reasons. First and foremost, it just matters how important the dog is to her. Almost everyone comes to love their dog, but is the dog truly family? Is the dog worth the cost and hardship of a legal fight? I would also add that – and I don’t know anything about this boy – the guy might drop it in a few weeks. He’s angry and bitter now, and guys have a tendency to act very brutish when they feel foolish or hurt, and just as often let these feelings go when push comes to shove. Waiting it out while gathering evidence in the meantime might be a good strategy, though if he ultimately brings her to court, it’s then that she might have to decide whether it’s truly worth the trouble.

    Reply

    • The dog’s been with the family since she was one month old, and she’s now 2 years old. She’s truly family. She waits at the door and doesn’t leave to sleep in her bed until everyone is home.

      Yes, they said to wait it out and let him calm down. He really cannot take care of the dog, but then he’d rather give the dog to someone else who can take care of her than have the ex have her. That’s mean.

      He won’t be able to afford a legal fight, that’s for sure.

      Reply

      • That’s a good path for the family. That kind of bitterness subsides usually and he’s more than likely to give up – hopefully he will!

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        • I don’t know what guys do when they’re very bitter and hurt. .

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          • Generally, we take it out on things! I think it has to do with testosterone – that and culture and upbringing. So that means sometimes we get physical with items (and unfortunately some with people or animals), or we get emotionally aggressive, such as is the case here. But those kind of emotional responses usually give way fairly soon. They’re simple reactions with simple resolutions, rather than the more complicated features that break-ups or whatever the situation is should entail. So four out of five times, the guy probably doesn’t do anything more if the girl’s family just stands firm; it’s the other “one” that becomes problematic. -_-‘

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            • Yes, it’s the “other ” one that’s problematic. I watch crime shows all the time, and it’s that ” one” that can get really scary.

  20. Hey I’m happy to know that you completed your first run…so proud of you…..Congrats…..I have always liked you and those little things you do…..About the dog, the dog herself can prove her master and her house, if taken to the court of law….. And finally God is everyone’s master , something’s happen for good….. Which we cannot foresee….

    Reply

    • Thank you. Yes, I’m eager to participate in more runs . I now run everyday for at least an hour.

      Fortunately here in California, the court’s judgement is very sensible.

      Reply

      • You should….. And I’m happy that you run every day, keeping on healthy….. But Don’t reduce to skinny….. I like the way you are and you look in your pic, that’s a very good balanced personality….. And I like you for that…. I wish I was there running, eating, drinking, etc etc with you…….

        Agree Californian judgement is very sensible, but then you had a question and so was it to be answered…..

        Reply

        • Yes, we just found out the sensibility of California court system regarding ownership of animals. ( this problem is actually very common, especially those who divorce ) We thought it would be a straightforward litigation without consideration of other factors like who actually takes care of the dog.

          Reply

  21. Oh ok…..Anyways….Preserve yourself the way you are….. That would give me some happiness…. Do take care…..

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  22. Don’t be so formal….I don’t express this to everyone…..

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  23. Wow, that is a great run, even for a young person like yourself, good job!! Break up suck, if she is the one that loves the dog I hope she gets to keep it.

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  24. If they lived separately and he had no input onto bills etc then it could be argued that he has lost the right, despite his name being on the ownership document. If they were living together, in a court perhaps he would be ordered to pay half the bills before taking the dog. I am unsure, I am basing all my thoughts off of old Judge Judy reruns here.

    Reply

  25. You’ve had lots of answers to this already but for my thoughts, as a dog lover, I’d say absolutely she should fight for the dog!

    Reply

  26. She absolutely should stand her ground. The dog looks to her as its friend and owner, and that trust should never be betrayed 🙂

    Reply

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