Courtship and serenade

Hello, Renxkyoko Iglesias musing here!

Eight days have passed…………. time to post again.  Meh. As usual, I’m hitting a blank wall. 

I just checked out my email folder, with almost 2,000 read emails . I deleted around 500. Going through the mails, I suddenly felt a wave of nostalgia and sadness wash over me when I read a series of emails between a certain person and myself.  He was my one-sided  love.

 But  the unrequited love is not the reason why I felt sad. The reason is more dire than that. I have a question….. what is the mathermatical probability that out of the population of 4 billion men, the guy that you happen to like has a terminal illness ? He  turned 20 this September. He was diagnosed when he was just 18 years old.  This is really true. “ Hey, Dreamsending, I guess you now have an idea who he is.” ( Dreamsending is my co-author here on Renxkyoko’s space )

So, what else can I talk about ?  Well, I bought a blu-ray of the movie The Strangers, ( recommended by a blogger )and the first season of Walking Dead. ( recommended by 3 bloggers ) I don’t think I can watch the movies this week. I have exams coming next week. As usual, crunch time.

It’s been a rather boring week.  Seriously, I really have nothing to talk about.  It seems everything is …. lifeless. Everyday  it’ s school, work, home…….and I guess this happens to be one of my “off” days . I really feel lethargic, and I just want to curl up in bed and sleep . 

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Hi, again ! I wrote the above 4 days ago. Today is Veteran’s Day, so there’s no school, although  I went to work from 1 PM to 7 . And there wasn’t much happening there, either. My boss gave me another $ 150 gift certificate, though.  My third one !   Also, I deleted/erased most of what I had written above about this guy. . I thought they were most inappropriate.  My problem with him seemed so puny compared to his own personal problem, so I felt I had no right whatsoever to  feel  hurt. I mean, his situation is mind- blowing. I can’t even imagine what he’s feeling now.   Last I heard from him, there was remission. I hope it stays that way.  So young ……….

So…..

My mom got a call from the Philippines,  from my aunt, Mom’s sister. She told my Mom that a cousin, (  their first cousin ) had asked my aunt to call Mom, so that Mom could call a nephew ( who’s in the Philippines, too , and who’s actually my Dad’s nephew, the son of his sister) and ask him what his real intentions are regarding Mom’s first cousin’s daughter, who happens to be the nephew’s girlfriend.  ( Are you still with me?  LOL )……… maybe a diagram is in order. 

Mom——> First cousin——–> daughter Cathy

Dad——-> Sister———> son Don

Cathy <——- hearts ——–> Don

Backround story:  It was when  Mom and I went to the Philippines last year  on vacation that Don and Cathy were introduced at a family reunion.  Cathy is a 30 year old doctor, single, and  really quite pretty. Don is a 35 year old lawyer, single, and never even had a girlfriend. So, they liked each other, and just had a first year anniversary of their relationship last August.  But, here’s the thing…. it seems Cathy wants to get married, but  doesn’t want to bring up the subject of marriage to Don.  Mom is not sure if  Cathy knows about her Mom’s call to my Mom, but  Mom’s  assuming she does, so Mom calls Don. For fun, this is more or less, Mom’s and Don’s conversation:

Mom :  Don, don’t tell Cathy I talked to you about this, but Cathy’s Mom called and told me to sound you off about Cathy’s desire to get married.

Don :  Aunty,  I know what  Cathy feels, but, I have just started my own law firm, and right now, I can barely pay the rent and my secretary’s salary. My savings are fast disappearing. I don’t think I can afford to have a family now.

Mom:  Don, Cathy is a doctor. She’s doing okay financially. She knows you’re in a bind now,  yet, she still wants to get married  to you..

Don: That’s exactly the reason why I don’t want to get married yet. I should be the one to support her, to bring home the bacon.

Mom: Don, you’re 35. How long will it take you to build a steady clientle, 5 years, 10 years? You’ll be 40 by then, and Cathy will be 35. She doesn’t want that.  She’s willing to share the burden with you, as a wife.

Don:   That’s what she thinks now…. but, I’m sure there are going to be money problems… and marital fights…… that’s inevitable….. and I don’t want that to happen to us.

Mom:    Don, you don’t have to marry her now….. all you have to do is make the relationship official…. give her a ring, get engaged… that’s all for now…. and then both of you decide when to get married.

Don :  Alright, alright. Aunty, I love you, but please don’t think I’m doing this because you asked me to. I’m doing this of my own free will and because  I love her, okay? 

Mom : Alright ! But please don’t get married before our Euro trip next year. We want to attend the wedding ! ! !

 Of course I embellished the conversation a little bit, but it’s more or less 80% accurate. I was the Third wheel on their first few dates !  And  I witnessed the awkwardness of 2 grown adults. I couldn’t believe it. Or was it a culture thing?  Mom says  in the rural areas in the Philippines, a man has to serve the family of the girl he’s courting.  Like, chopping  firewood for cooking?  Oh, and there’s this tradition of serenading the girl  !  They say the guy serenades the girl at night, under the moonlight, and if the girl likes him back, she will open the window and listen, but if she doesn’t like him, the window will not be opened.  And if the guy can’t sing, he hires a professional singer.  Wow! Just imagine the scene…. a guy singing a haunting love song, accompanied by a guitar, and the girl looking out the window, with a lovely smile on her face, awwww !  I wonder if this tradition still exists.  Mom says it still does, coz she was serenaded once by a young, poor farmer when she stayed at a small barrio for one month  for her on the job training when she was in college. She siad it was embarassing and awkward., like, did the guy really think that would work? LOL

Edited to include a pic of Philipine tradition of Serenade:

I have a question, though…. do you think my Mom crossed the line by  ” urging”  my cousin Don to get engaged to Cathy?  Well, actually, it was Cathy’s mother who wanted Mom to do that. This isn’t what we call a shotgun wedding , is it ? Shotgun weddings are for pregnant ladies, and Cathy isn’t.

Anyways, I hope Philippine guys continue with this sweet tradition of courtship, serenade and all. It’s awesome. Over here in the US,  wham, bam, thank you , Ma’m  is the thing.

Well, this is all for now. Good day to all !  Oh, wait, before I go, there’s this Filipino boxer Manny Pacquiao who’s gonna have a bout with a Mexican boxer Marquez tonight on HBO’s Pay Per View. You bet we’re going to watch. And some guests are coming, including my sister’s boyfriend’s cousins. ( A bunch of white guys, haha ) Last time the cousins were here, BF and one cousin almost had their own boxing match at the backyard.  It seemed the cousin favored the other boxer. And, they had beers too many.

Alright, gotta go….. I’ll bake cupcakes ! ! Bye for now !

78 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Becoming Bitter on November 12, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    I’m sorry about your friend. I hope he stays in remission. The conversation was funny in its in own way, but I don’t think your mom crossed the line. If she left it up to him he probably would never get to that point. I have heard of that tradition – it’s cute, but you’re right it gets awkward. Take care and enjoy yourself.

    Reply

  2. Another nice piece california

    Reply

    • Thank you, Florida ! Hahaha ! hey, I bought The Strangers, as you suggested …..

      Cheers !!!!!

      Reply

      • Posted by The Undreamt Terrain on November 12, 2011 at 10:39 pm

        The Strangers is Good… (no spoilers :), though you spoiled it for me by telling about code geasse, but I do’t believe in concept of revenge :D), Though I didn’t like The walking dead that much..!!

        Reply

        • Nooo ! You didn’t like Walking Dead ? Uhm, not a zombie fan, huh. Goodness, I’m sorry about Code Geasse ! But, but, our topic then were dead protagonists, weren’t we? Anyways, Zero didn’t die ! ! All the fans on the forum said he didn’t ( My brother , too )

          Reply

          • Posted by The Undreamt Terrain on November 13, 2011 at 7:47 am

            Sorry but no, didn’t find it that good..!! Zombies I used to like in my teen.. gosh I’m grown up (23 now).. 😛 Now-a-days I’m going ga-ga over vampires… True Blood, The Vampire Diaries… True Blood is good..!!
            about Code Geasse.. I don’t mind, it’s still the same fun to watch it..!! (season 1 about to end)

            Reply

            • I used to like vampire movies too, but like you, I’ve outgrown them… but not zombies, not yet. Have you seen 28 Days Later ? If not, you should watch it. That’s the first zombie movie where zombies can outrun humans.

  3. I know ! You can just imagine what I felt ! I cursed him… I said, EFF YOU ! Is that a joke ? And he cursed back…. EFF YOU, too ! Do you think I enjoyed telling you that ?

    Reply

  4. (How do you pronounce ‘Renxkyoko’?) Sorry about your friend. As far as Don and Kathy, they shouldn’t let tradition get in the way of love.

    Reply

  5. Cathy. Sorry, my mistake.

    Reply

  6. I LOVE the bit about the serenading. Wonder how much it costs to hire out a professional singer. And what a bummer it would be if you coughed up the cash for the professional singer and the girl kept the window shut! I’d be broke and humiliated.

    Reply

  7. In my crazy chick world, the girl would probably douse the dude with cold water if she doesn’t like him. Jeez, no wonder I’m single … Your story is sweet and it sounds so old fashioned. This would make a funny film 🙂

    Reply

  8. Posted by REBECCA DAWN on November 14, 2011 at 12:30 am

    sorry about your friend, i hope the remission stays!
    ahhh the one side of love… I am the Queen of that. But I think your story is so sweet, whereas mine is so pathetic (I hang my head in shame…:) )
    I loved the Strangers… those kind of movies freak me out.

    Reply

    • I was told about the remission last year yet, so I don’t know what’s going on with him now. He has deleted even his WordPress account, and all the sites where I know he posts.

      Aaaargh… having a one sided love is so pathetic, isn’t it ? TT.TT ( hanging my head in shame , too…. Girl, I was rejected, muahahahaha ! )

      Reply

  9. Posted by Zoe @ Pantry and Fridge on November 14, 2011 at 1:58 am

    Always great when you check in 🙂
    Love Walking Dead. The Strangers frightened me! :]

    Reply

  10. Hey, Ren.

    I think I’ve read something similar to your story before.

    Anyway, stop digging up old emails. 🙂 Photos are much better.

    You bought the DVD of the Walking Dead. Walking Dead Marathon, eh? I’ve been trying to follow season 2 but my schedule has been too tight lately. A cousin of mine also recommends reading The Walking Dead. He says that it’s different from the TV series.

    Cheers!

    Reply

    • Hi, Brian !

      Which story have you read , or been told already ? Ahahaha ! I’m sure it’s about this guy………coz the one with my cousins happened this week. Hey I have to dig up my emails. I had 2000, but I had to reread before deleting them, then saw the emails…. I thought I had deleted all his emails before. Ugh.

      I was planning to watch Season 1 on the Internet, but there was none available for showing. Walking Dead is showing on AMC, at 7 PM, every Sunday. I have work on Sundays, so I don’t think I can watch it in its regular run.

      Cheers , Brian !

      Reply

  11. Posted by wordsfallfrommyeyes on November 14, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    Hey, thanks heaps for checking out my current blog – the video 🙂 It was my way of doing the award thing.

    I don’t know how you found the time to view it though with THAT many emails. Doesn’t that sort of give you a headache?!!

    I have had unrequited lust/obsession, but not love. Didn’t love them and I know it, I was just in love with their look, manner, style – and aloofness to me!! BAD stuff!

    I actually like deleting emails and things, hate cluster. It can make you wistful though…

    Reply

    • The video was awesome ! Really !

      I bring my laptop to school . During breaks, I do stuff here, lol.

      Unrequited love sux ! Won’t have any of this in the future. I will only like guys who like me too.

      Cheers, wordsfallfrommyeyes ! !

      Reply

  12. Loved your post. I have a few Filipino friends, but I never heard of this serenading tradition until now. TBH, despite me being such a die-hard romantic, I agree with your mom. It does seem creepy and awkward, especially in this day and age, where you don’t have the social restrictions of decades ago and you can tell her in broad daylight of how you feel. Just my opinion. or maybe it’s just such a diss for the poor bloke if you don’t open you window. that must hurt. Or poor guy could go on deluding himself, ‘no, she was probably sleeping. I’ll strike earlier tomorrow!” Or something like that. LOL, i dunno. If I was in the girl’s place, I’d feel so bad, I’d open the window and let him down easy later…or would that hurt more?? Gaaah, i dunno, I’m sleepy

    Reply

    • I’m not sure if guys will serenade girls who are clearly not liking them, lol. But you know what, persistence sometimes pays off. A great guy will never give up ! Yeah ? LOL

      Oooooh, I think I like to be serenaded…. Oh, wait, some guy sang to me already. I’ll count that as a serenade. Check out my post SMILE !

      Reply

  13. Have I mentioned I absolutely LOVE the way you illustrate your posts with manga images? It’s so refreshingly cute!

    Reply

  14. I don’t know about the Cathy and Don thing. I don’t think your mom crossed the line. She was just trying to help. But she could get the blame if things blow up.

    Don’t listen to me. I’m the worst person to give relationship advice!

    Reply

  15. I was just wondering…so what hapens if the girl being serenaded doesnt like the guy? Does he walk away in shame or continue singing persistently until she opens up her window?

    Reply

  16. I hope your friend stays in remission.
    The Don/Cathy saga is really cute. I think that there are versions of this conversations going on all over the world, in all different cultures. Lots of preoccupation with marriage!
    The serenade tradition sounds really sweet.

    Reply

    • Ah, my friend…… * tears *

      LOL Yea ! And it’s even cuter coz I know Don very well. He’s such a…… I don’t know the word, but he doesn’t know how to approach girls. He should thank Mom , he’s got a girlfriend now… so he shouldn’t screw up. cathy is so cute !

      I know ! Wish we had that in the US… hahah… wishful thinking.

      Reply

  17. When you mentioned about chopping firewood for the woman’s family, I don’t know if they still practice that in rural places here since LPGs and stoves are already common. Usually, the practice is to fetch a pail of water for the family since water supply is scarce and it needs a manly effort from the guy. But that’s a very long time ago probably before the 90s thanks to the water distributing companies. The practices might have evolved or tamed down in other ways.

    Chopping firewood and fetching water pails is already an expression synonymous to impressing the parents of the woman.

    Reply

    • Given the close family ties of Filipinos, the guy needs to impress the girl’s family too. Wow ! Do guys find that troublesome? It’s sweet, though.

      Reply

      • It depends on the personality of the parents. Sometimes, when you want to know more about the woman, her family becomes the source of information about her (that sounds like a school research). But that just comes as a bonus whenever you visit her house. You have to be smooth enough to achieve that goal. I know it because I did it. 🙂

        Reply

        • Oh, you know what, years ago, there was an ad of Head and Shoulders Shampoo here in the US. It was a little odd coz the people in it looked Asian… my family thought Filipinos, but why would they have ads here in the US that didn’t have American models? Well, we weren’t mistaken, they were Filipinos, and it showed a guy and girl seated on the sofa and a grandma is seated too, between the guy and girl.

          Reply

          • That’s cute. 🙂 I might have seen that ad. But then I can’t recall. What I can recall akin to that is the Vaseline lotion commercial. That seen is almost fitting to all kinds of beauty products.

            Reply

  18. Go Pacquiao! :))

    I’ve never been formally serenaded but my boyfriend usually sings to me when we’re together, and even if he says he wished he had a better voice, I find his simple antics really sweet. :))

    Reply

    • yo, he won ! problem is, a lot of people think it isn’t a convincing win. Marquez’ s camp want a rematch ! ( Mayweather is jumping for joy, I bet ! )

      I’ve been sang too, Josephine. Check out SMILE ! ! Hahaha …. can’t resist mentioning that.

      Reply

  19. Love your writing! I’ve actually just gone through and deleted emails from someone I had a relationship with… half the time its fun to reread the emails, 75% of the time it stinks!! I’m white. 🙂

    Reply

    • LOL You’re white ! I’m brown, hi there !

      Most of the emails I deleted were those I inrended to respond to, but never did. I mean, how could I respond to all those emails? I get at least 30 a day, sometimes more.

      Reply

  20. thank u for dropping by in my blog … and thank you for promoting pacquiao and marquez fight, well I love boxing I am a huge fan of it…

    Reply

    • You’re welcome !

      And thanks for passing by too !

      Pacquiao won, but…… is not really convincing? I don’t like any more rematch. I think Marquez is an a-hole. he’s been talking crap .

      Reply

  21. wow. i hope your friend would get better. must be difficult. you know, i’m not sure how many guys still do serenades. i’ve been living for 24 years and i only see this in the movies, not very much too these days!

    Reply

    • he’s brave! At least, he had put up a brave front… all those times we were in touch, I never had an inkling somethimg was going on…. it was only when he told me he was sick… then I insisted he tells me what’s wrong with him.

      My dad went with some buddies of his to serenade a girl, lol…

      Reply

  22. I loved the conversation with the doctor. I hope they do get married. They will be able to laugh about it in a few years

    Reply

    • Hi, Counting ducks !

      Oh, I hope so. ( cross fingers ) Mom tells us cathy is a very willful girl….. I hope her personality doesn’t dominate Don’s. Oh, my.

      Reply

  23. Posted by Becoming Bitter on November 18, 2011 at 6:32 pm

    Hey Kyoko do you have a twitter?

    Reply

  24. Great post! Don’t let that wall slow you down, young lady!

    Reply

    • Mr. Hook ! Long time no see you here ! I thought you have forgotten me !

      I try to ! except, sometimes there’s really nothing to talk about…. so I just talk about small things like that conversation of Mom’s and Don’s, and hoping it would be worth the readers’ time !

      Cheers, mr. Hook !

      Reply

  25. I think the serenading potential spouse not only happening in the Philippines.. if not mistaken, I think it’s in Spanish culture as well. I remember watching some Latina movie with this type of courtship.

    Haha! I think it can be embarrassing but then, if you love the guy, you would think it’s romantic. 🙂

    Reply

    • I’m sure it has Spanish influence. The Philippines was under Spain from 1521 to 1898.

      It would embarassing, but at the same time, flattering, I would think. If I already love the guy, I’d holler ,” Stop eeeeet! ! ! You idiot ! ” LOL

      Reply

  26. haha. its very rare for that to happen in our modern time but i guess some guys still do. Though I think not as the same as it is before. Its one of the Filipino tradition that should not fade. 😀

    Reply

    • LOL Who will preserve it, I wonder? Filipina girls, I’m sure, do not expect guys to serenade them. and guys will be too embarassed to do this stuff , anyway, and I understand that, LOL. I expect friends to tease any guy who would have the guts to serenade. I mean, I would. Just the same, it’s really a sweet tradition. I want to be serenaded !! !

      Reply

  27. Ren,

    Had fun reading your comments here.

    I didn’t realize that a lot of girls still wish or secretly to be serenaded. It’s a good thing that there are a lot of videoke/ karaoke places in the Philippines. Guys get a lot of practice (drunken singing).

    I think with a lot of borrowed courage from spirits (like gin), you can have someone sing to you. For me, it takes a lot of guts to do that serenade thing.

    Cheers!

    Reply

    • Brian, I want to be serenaded. I wish I could tell stories like that to my grandchildren, LOL. ” Your granddad serenaded me, he was off key, and horrible ! But it was the sweetest thing , ever, and I fell madly in love. ! ” he he he

      Reply

  28. Posted by Becoming Bitter on November 20, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    You have been mentioned in my new post titled “Thank You!” check it out!!!
    http://becomingbitter.wordpress.com/2011/11/20/thank-you/

    Reply

  29. Posted by Rob. on November 22, 2011 at 4:29 pm

    I don’t usually keep old emails, but I did leave one from like three years ago. Her words will always make me smile I think.
    Anyway, I hope you’re doing fine Ren.

    Reply

    • I’ve been busy, Rob ! !

      Awww ! 3 years ago ? You actually kept a 3 year old email ? How sweet ! ! I think I’ll email you ! ( I bet you’re gonna delete it when you see who it’s from, he he he )…

      Reply

  30. I love this!

    Reply

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