The Unwritten Rule, or Maybe Not

Here I am again. Hello, renxkyoko Iglesias musing.

Seriously, what am I going to write about this time?  About debt ceiling? About how the US’s credit rating has been degraded from maybe 5 stars to just 2 now ? Although , the latter does have some serious implications on my parents’ pocketbook. You see,  our next door neighbor just moved out. They bought a new one for $ 150,000, but sold their old home, with a pool,  for $165,000. So, we’d think they profited from the sale? Nope. They lost a lot of money because 6 years ago, at the height of housing boom here in California, they bought  their old house  for $320,000.  So, what has it got to do with us?  Well, 6 years ago, my parents also  bought another house for $ 350,000 ( with a pool, too ), and now, we hear that the value of that house is now  a measly  $200,000. In other words, my parents lost $150,000.  Good thing that house is never without a tenant or tenants, so it pays for itself. We’re renting it out for $1550, and that’s also exactly how much we’re paying for mortgage. We’re not earning at all. We are , in fact, losing a few hundred dollars a month.  My parents decided to pay for the tenants’  water bills, monthly pool maintenance, garbage/sewage fees….. just some perks as long as they stay in the house.  But, this degrading of the US credit rating is a bit worrisome. This means , interest rates will go up. I’m sure we’ll get another love letter from the mortgage company.  A realtor friend of my parents told them to just walk away from the loan but we have to prepare ourselves  to lose our credit rating for 7 years.  No credit card, just cash for all transactions.  ( credit cards will definitely not be renewed.  I’m sure even WalMart will not give us the time of day. ) ……..But of course , my parents won’t do that.

You know, I just read this manga titled Momo Lover.  The story goes like this…… there’s this family of 2 sisters who are orphans. The older sister goes overseas to work, but comes back with a baby, named Momo, and hands the care of her baby over  to her younger sister, then leaves  the country again. ( But she doesn’t leave, actually. She stays for a while to secretly  observe how her sister handles the situation. ) The younger sister happens to have 2 guys ( Shirou and Yomi ) who are in love with her. They find out about the baby, and volunteer to help the main girl.  ( Chirei * Cherry* ) They are all high school students. One day, they decide to go outing at the beach.  Cherie and the baby almost drown. Shirou saves the baby while Yomi instinctively saves Chirei……

I  have this “bad habit” of checking out the forum to read the comments /opinions of the readers, and more importantly, to read “spoilers”,  before reading the manga. If there’s an unpleasant ending, or sometimes, gut-wrenching episodes that I know I won’t be able to stand ,  then I don’t read it. Eh. I know that’s stupid, but that’s just  me. I can’t help it. I try to avoid unpleasant stuff like that.  Anyhow, there’s a thread there that discusses  Yomi’s action of saving Chirei first. Each opinion is  understandably  againts Yomi. ” How dareYomi save Chirei who can  survive, instead of the baby who is helpless?”  That’s a natural reaction. But here’s the thing………   In the hierarchy of things, there’s an unwritten rule that the spouse saves his /her spouse first, even if the other one is his/her own parent or child. …. all things being equal, of course.  If’ for instance,  your  spouse is too far to be saved successfully, then save the one closest to you.  Another example is during childbirth. ……………If the situation  calls for a choice between saving the child or the mother, saving the mother wins hands down. Even in court trials, the court cannot force the wife ( or husband) to testify againts the spouse..  The unwritten rule is now part of the laws of the land.  What then is the point of all this?  My point is, that’s how strong  the marriage bond should be. When people marry, they become ONE  ENTITY in the whole universe.  You take a vow to be together, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in health and in sickness,  until death do you part.

I’m not saying married people should stay together forever, even if the marriage turns into an untenable relationship. Definitely not. I only have 2 reasons, though,   if I’m the one to initiate  divorce.

1. Husband cheats on me.  Before I turn over my life, body and soul , to a man, he should get my  my complete trust and faith in him. Once they are betrayed, lifeline is permanently broken. Why ? Because  I do not forget nor forgive. The man’s presence will always remind me of  his betrayal, an act that I know will haunt me forever.

2. Being in an abusive relationship, in words and in deed.  It ‘s not abusive, Hollywood style, it is the real McCoy, where I am threatened with bodily harm, get yelled at and insulted  24/7.  In fact, this is one of the very, very few reasons the Vatican will annul a Catholic marriage.

Other than these two,  I shall stay married, for better or for worse, forever.  Unless, of course, husband divorces me.  That’s fine. I’d rather have that, than staying married and cheat on me.  Hah! Do  people think  it’s only women who are left holding the short end of the stick? If you  believe that, you better look like this……

Because,  mister,   women are as capable of leaving men for guys who look like that before they  can cry Uncle !  Men  are also as likely to turn into  simpering ninnies , pining for their  beloved exes .  Women do not even need men to have children nowadays.  They can just go to ferility clinics and have themselves impregnated, give birth to a child, be loving mothers, and at the same time, live a happy single life, free from worries of trying to please a man every single day.  ( Hey, hey, calm down , Ren… not all men are cheaters. there are more men who are as  faithful  as your Dad.  Just choose well, and use your head all the time )

Ahahah ! I’m just musing…………. My heart  does  go out to those whose hearts have been broken, whatever the gender is. I live by the motto, Golden Rule. Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you. Oh, speaking of which, my sister’s boyfriend had a haircut… He’s almost bald now. He hehe …. Sis freaked out. We all did…..   it was only Dad who approved. Well, he used to have long blond hair, longer than shoulder length, and it was always tied back. LOL ! This is so random.

Oh . oh! ! !  I just read 3 mangas. one is completed, 2 are ongoing.  One is a Korean manhwa, by the same author as Ways of the Jogang Jicheo and The Boy Who Will sell Kisses for 5000 Won. The title is  ” Die or Like Me ” , I wrote about the other two on my previous blogs. But this one, Die or Like Me is heart wrenching. Aaaargh ! I don’t think I’ll read this. I ‘ve seen the raws… oh. my gawd ! ! The main guy is in bed with another girl several times.. I mean, they’re both naked, so I assume they’re doing it. Oh, oh ! ! I won’t read this ! ! Damn ! ! *ponders* You know what, if there’s a guy who wants to go into a relationship with me,  he better not tell me his past, if there’s any.  I’d prefer to be blissfully ignorant; The thought of him doing it with another girl will forever haunt me. I don’t think I can handle it. This is one of my hang-ups.I know it’s unrealistic in this day and age, and I hope I can get past that, but , right now? I don’t think so. Ah, uh. A guy friend tells me it’s called mental voyeurism. I had a classmate last year ,  a Filipino, too, whom I liked, and I was very sure he liked me too.  Even our classmates thought we had started dating. But then, one day, he told me, oh, so  casually , that  he used to live with his ex girlfriend. I don’t remember how that came up. …… Oh, I remember…..  our tenants were moving out, and I thought he was living alone in an apartment, so I asked him if he wanted to rent the house, and he could just get roommates, like our students/tenants.  ( The house is located near the university.) And he said, “Oh, no, I live in a  house now with my cousins as roommates, and the house is owned by a relative. I used to live in an aprtment with my ex.”  I was dumbfounded and went into complete shock. Do you know how it was like? Icy chill crept from my head down to my toes. He was still speaking, but I couldn’t hear it… the sound seemed to come from far far away. In a second, I went into total  ignore mode. I stopped speaking to him, ignored his calls, and wouldn’t even look at him.  Good thing school was almost over. But I know he was as devastated as I was, but , ” sorry. It’s me. Can’t help it.  it’s not your fault. ”

Oh, my. I think I should stop here.  I’m not making sense anymore.

Oh, well.

This is all for now. I think I’m feeling a little depressed.  Sorry.  Bye, PEACE!

61 responses to this post.

  1. you got me in the right “spot” lol 😉


  2. Women can indeed have children without necessarily having a man…all thanks to technology! 🙂 That has always been a plan B…except my mum would go crazy if I declared my child was fatherless. So I have to get married then have kids. But if that doesn’t work out, hmm-mm… I’ll visit a fertility clinic, have myself impregnated with an Arabian baby and run away from my Country so that I don’t have to explain myself to anyone.


    • Lol ! Yeah! Women tend to have this motherly instinct. Who would have thought women can fulfill their dream of having a child to love without waiting for a man to do that for them?


  3. Don’t worry about divorce yet. Wait till you get there. If it’s any consolation to you, you’re much too young and too single for that.



    • Hi, Brian !

      I just remembered you were the one who mentioned mental voyuerism, hahaha! Good one ! Maybe I will edit and acknowledge you ! He he he…


  4. I have had two divorces… both initiated by my ex-wives so they could go off with their new found boy friends. It hurt a lot but I, like you, could have never trusted them again. I know how you would feel and it is not pretty. That being said, I have found true love and know that this one will last the rest of my life. You can’t be afraid to look for love, and you can’t ignore it when you find it. Good Luck


    • Oh, goodness, leedevine, sorry ! ….. I guess I really shouldn’t be too harsh on men. Women can be nasty too, except, you know, the statstics ……. i have to always remember it takes two to tango…….


  5. Posted by Rob. on August 15, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    I think guys are portrayed unfairly. Like, in movies and on television shows, it’s almost always the guy that cheats. I don’t think that’s right.
    My friend was cheated on recently by his girlfriend who he has been with for almost a year, and I can tell you for a fact that he would never have done that to her.
    Maybe he’s just an abnormally good guy, or maybe she is abnormal in what she did. Somehow though, I don’t think that’s the case.
    Maybe I’m just feeling a little down for my buddy’s sake.


    • Oh, hi Rob ! Rare comment coming from you,,,, but then we chitchat for hours, so I already know what you’re thinking, hahahah! Oh, and vice versa ! (^_^)”

      You haven’t told me about the friend. o.Oa

      Talk to you soon.


      • Posted by Rob. on August 17, 2011 at 12:26 am

        Yeah you’re right, I wonder if there’s any point in me commenting sometimes!
        Anyway, I’ll tell you all about it later!


        • It’s nice to see you here participating with the others, although you’re right ,most of our blah blahs are about my blog and we get to talk about it more extensively.

          Anyways, yeah, talk to you later.


    • Rob, that’s just the story of my life.


      • Posted by Rob. on August 17, 2011 at 12:53 am

        Put on a strong face and stick it. That’s what society dictates guys are supposed to do. And that’s what we will do most of the time. But that doesn’t mean cheating isn’t just as tough for us to take. Luckily, we usually have ‘the guys’ who can help us pick ourselves up when we’re down too.


        • Rob, it’s definitely tougher for girls. We are too emotional, I know of at least 3 heartbreaks that almost gave the girls a nervous breakdown, especially when they witnessed the cheating themselves. One girl ran on the school hallways sobbing like crazy. She just saw her BF with another girl. Friends were restraining and hugging her, telling her to stop . She was hospitalized that day. Stories like that will harden any girl’s heart .


          • And we wonder why the Y chromosome is on the verge of extinction? LOL
            Nice community you have here. Following you now.


            • Thanks, Bowser. I hope you can come here and visit again.

              I just read that in China, there are more men than women… like for every one female, there are at least 2o men waiting in the wings. The article has pictures of so many bachelors hanging out outside the girl’s house, waiting for the girl to come out. Awesome!!! hahaha Like my co-author here on my blogsite, Dreamsending, who’s now in China teaching English, maybe I’ll go there too, lol.

  6. the effect of the downgrade can also be felt here. the remittances from the overseas filipino workers are seeing less value. i hope it gets fixed soon enough though. i agree with your terms on getting out of a marriage. i actually think there should be an expiration date on the marriage contract. 😆


    • My aunt was happy she was able to buy more dollars for a few pesos, haha. Oh, and od course, there will be more Phil exports… so, there are pluses and minuses when dollar loses . aaargh, bad for us here stateside.

      re expiration date on marriage contract…… it’s better to live together first … then if the couple find it’s okay, ( one is not a slob, abuser, cheater) then they can go ahead and sign on the dotted lines. lol


  7. Great post! You’d LOVE Fan Expo, with all it’s anime goodness!


  8. I would have gone if I didn’t have the second job. Two years ago, we did go, * sweat* but we didn’t cosplay, haha/ I have the pics ! !


  9. Within several years,China economy will overtake US economy, as many financial analyst prediction,hehehe….


    • i guess so…. what with all American manufacturing companies going to China for cheap labor… America is now the one holding an empty bag. They need to come back here and give the jobs back to Americans. Even the Philippines will suffer… when i was there, everything seems to be made in china, even a simple plastic plate. Are there still manufacturing companies in the Philippines that can compete with China? Pretty soon, filipinos will just be a country of consumers,( like the USA) and retail businesses, selling Chinese goods.. At least Americans now are aware… we ourselves buy Made in USA, if we can.


      • Absolutely! You know, we Filipinos are fond of buying things made in China because they are quite affordable. Our country has been just a place for raw materials. I guess, we don’t produce much. We just supply much. LOL! 😀


        • We are not doing any bashing here, I hope. No, we’re not. This is what’s happening though. Over here, we buy the phones from stores, then we check out where they are made from… guess what. Good thing as far as clocks go, made in USA is still the sturdiest and the most accurate. Or the ones made in Japan. or Germany. Anything made in China , esp. the mechanical ones, are junked after one year. The ones made in USA , germany, and Japan just keep on going and going, and going. That is just one example. And over here, we are concerned with anything that keeps in contact with our body… pplastics, paint, etc. ,,, definitely nothing poisonous. Or else, everything will be RECALLED ! ( no lead, melamine in milk, or goodness what else is in there ) Just saying…..


          • I agree with you. I’m half-chinese but I find the products that was made in China a little inferior. But I guess the reason why it is marketable is the false thought that we would be able to save more. Hell, if the product fails, then you can easily buy another replacement, because that’s how affordable it is. But when you think about it, if you buy the equivalent from an OEM (original equipment manufacturer), it only hurts when you buy it because it seems to be more expensive. After buying the same product for a hundred times, made in china actually costs more. Not bashing, there is actually some Chinese products that are great, but the connotation is if it’s made from China, it’s an imitation (here’s a sample:


            • Oh, the fake Apple stores are in the news here, with lots of pictures, too. But that’s nasty, isn’t it? That’s gross misrepresentation at the highest level. Have you seen the fake Keloggs cereal ? The distinctive red K is there… I just don’t remember how it was written… Kellaggs ? Changing o to a, thereby making it legit? * grins* I don’t know either why people have to buy knock-offs, like fake brand names such as CKs, Coach, etc. Leave those brands alone for rich folks.. It’s so tacky to wear or have one that is fake. My mom says she had seen market fish vendors wearing foreign brand names. It doesn’t mean I’m a snob, like they have no right to wear such stuff. But don’t buy fake if you can’t afford the real thing. There are nice, local products in the market that are cheaper, after all. When I was in the Philippines, I bought a lot of good stuff, shirts, dresses, accessories, yeah , even purses, local brands. Filipinos have to patronize and nurture locally made ones.

            • I agree. Here, when you say “Made in China”, what pops out in our minds is imitation. I think I also have one. 😀 LOL. A family friend sold three Fit Flops (I guess you’re familiar with these) to my mom and each costs Php700. And my mom bought all three for me, for her and for my sister. Just as I was out to the mall, I passed a boutique (sort of) selling Fit Flops. I went in to find out its price and gosh! These flops cost more than Php3,000. They are pretty much the same with the ones that I have. And note, I was wearing them that time. As I went home, I’m trying to find a little impurity of the product, but they are actually the same. HAHAHA. And I didn’t see any “Made in China” on the product. But I guess they are sort of. If that was made in China then, Chinese people are freakin’ good! 🙂

  10. This post goes to my to-read list. 🙂
    It’s quite long and I’ve got to sleep! It’s 2:40 am here in the Philippines. 😀


  11. Oh. Relationships. huh? I’ve never been into one. I’m just 16 and my parents wouldn’t permit that. LOL. 😀 I guess everybody cheats, regardless of the gender. 🙂 But when relationships fail, blame it to the one who screwed up! 😀


    • “Everybody cheats”……… that makes my head spin, lol ! ! Keep your eyes open at all times. Never use rose colored glasses. They’re not good. You won’t see the path clearly, and you’ll trip. (^__^)#


      • That’s just what I think. LOL 🙂
        I’m keeping them open. 😀
        I’m afraid I’ll get blind. LOL. 🙂


        • Yeah, KJ, look for signs. If the texts become shorter and shorter, and the excuses not to see you become more frequent, don’t get mad, get even. LOL Just kidding….. but never ask for reasons why, just leave and never look back.. because there are only 2 reasons… 1. he doesn’t like you anymore 2. he likes another girl.


  12. @KJ

    Unfortunately for brand owners, the imitation ones are really good. I’m just wondering, if they can make good stuff, why not use their own brand ? If they can make such good quality products, why not stamp their own name on it, and make that brand famous ?


  13. Hey Renxkyoko,
    It has been awhile since I posted here. I love how you add photos;comic strips to show how you feel about a certain subject ^^ And still loving the Philippine references


    • Hey, Jeremy ! Wow ! It;s been awhile , huh ! Thanks for visiting me here, I hope you can find the time to come here again. Oh, my. I remember you have a WordPress account! I lost the link. Are you still updating?


  14. hello there, this is a pretty good entry! so good that I don’t even know how to start my comment(s) about this. I heard so many stuff about the “economical crisis” in USA, because I work in an international company, apparently I’m in a department that handles issues with our american clients – err, fine I’ll tell the truth, my work is about US credit cards..and everyday I hear the same story, that everyone is having a hard time, can’t pay their bills on time and whenever they can it has to be so minimal just to show good faith…a lot of people would call us and tell us that they lost their home already so they don’t care about their credit cards anymore – i can only imagine the tough situation, though the company have programs or payment plans it would still affect the client’s credit rating…I never thought that the situation can be this bad.

    regarding married life – ah, I don’t think I would ever tie the knot. My father left us recently and that was the 2nd time he did it. I’m just afraid that it whatever he did to my mum will also happen to me. the last relationship I had was with a man separated from his wife, his wife cheated on him…so I told myself that maybe I wont get married until i’m 40 something and living with a man…ha ha. You’re right not all man are cheaters.

    and i feel sorry for the filipino guy..oh well, that’s just who you are.



    • Why, thank you, Joyce Kelmer ! Although, I really thought it was one of the most non-sensical posts I had ever written, and that’s saying something, coz all my posts are plain nonsense. Ahahah !

      Ah, that is so true. My mother once called a credit card company to complain about a finance charge ( she paid the bill, but apparently, the company didn’t receive it ) and what do you know, the person she talked to was a Filipino, calling from the Philippines. Although the accent was generic, my mom kinda recognized it, so she asked if she was speaking with a Filipino, hahaha.

      I’m sorry about your Dad. That’s heart-breaking. I hope all goes well with your family, Joyce Kelmer .

      Ugh. Me,too ! At the rate I’m going, I’ll turn out to be an old maiden, sitting in rocking chair, and daydreaming about what might have been. ( and maybe still reading mangas )…. What a pathetic thought. He he he…


      • well, I love reading blogs…i don’t know why either but it just feels good whenever I’m reading one, it makes sense especially if I can relate to it, just like this one 🙂
        and I guess at some point I get to learn something new.

        I can’t think of any better way to improve the issue about credit cards, I don’t know if its just me but I haven’t heard any good plans from Obama regarding this — oh a client once mentioned that he’s not doing anything about it, but I guess he got a group of people or something that handles this.

        it was heart breaking yeah, but I’m ok with it now, since I grew up without him around because he was in California for almost 20 years…my life though is much peaceful without him , that’s me being honest, but I don’t hate him.

        ha ha my friends always tell me that it’s too early for me to say that I wont get married since I’m still young, a lot of things can happen and more likely I would change my mind…if they’re reading your comments about married life, I bet they would laugh and tell you the same thing….well that’s because most of my friends are married already 🙂


        • Uhm, Joyce Kelmer, just curious, how did this particular pist relate to you? The marriage thing?

          Ah, I wonder what your married friends would tell me… marriage is a wondrous , splendor thing? LOL


  15. girl you are so random 🙂 … from money to manga 😀
    Is the degradation applied locally or across states?
    About the past, i kinda agree for just keeping it unsaid, at least until you both ready and steady.. beside, we are living in ‘now’ not ‘yesterday’


    • Ahahaha! Not to mention my sister’s boyfriend’s new hair “do”, wrote it down right in the middle of my rant ! LOL

      I’m really so random. No one will ever know what I’ll say next. I’m the type who will say, out of the blue, ” oh, by the way, I stepped on a cat’s poo”, and then discussion from politics will shift to which poo smells the worst ….lol ! !


  16. haha !, i wonder if I inspired you on the debt ceiling references, haha. Yes, relationships are not easy, and girls are not as innocent as you think.


  17. He he he yes, you did ! ! yes, I know, girls are not as innocent as I think… well, it does take two to tango…. (*~*)


  18. You’re a big romantic, huh Ren? 🙂 I can see it now… the guy in the picture swooping you off your feet and paying for your parent’s mortgage and riding off into the sunset, with you in his arms. Seeeee, look… you’re getting all sappy over my little imaginary story. 😀

    Although, I don’t much blame you for saying the guy must better look like that if he’s going to cheat…. Woof!! !

    The market sucks everywhere right now, but I’m an optimist, I think we’ll bounce back from it. It took us years to get here; it’s going to take some years to get us out of this mess. I do understand your parents hesitation and concern though.

    In the beginning of the downturn, Tim and I walked away from our dream home; and for the past two years have been renting instead. And since he’s the only one working at the moment and I am trying to get my writing off the ground; we’re now in a part of Atlanta that I have come to despise. But I’m managing… we’re managing. I think as long as you have someone, family, friends, significant other; we’ll make it through the hard times… all of the hard times.

    So, keep your head up Chica… it’s gotta get better before it gets worse.

    I also apologize for not being more attentive to you these past couple of weeks. Starting another site has been pure HECK! There is always something wrong, something needing changing, something, something, something! Like right now, my site has gone bizerk and I have no reason how to fix it. UGH!!! Anywho, I better get back to fixing it. Chat with you soon. Smooches.


  19. I’m a big romantic ? Well, yes and no . I’m cynical, but at the same time, dreams of a nice romance, hehehe. I say dream….. I don’t know if it’s gonna happen in real time. I guess I have to lower the bar, and settle for something stable. lol ! !

    Yes, I hope we get out of this quagmire soon. My parents are on edge already.

    Ah, Deeone, why exactly did you leave WordPress. You have a lot of followers here, and you seem to be doing well, too.


    • Well, I wanted to expand it into a career….. and didn’t seem like the platform I would be able to that with. on the other hand, supposedly gives me crediblity as a writer. At least that’s what I’m hearing. 🙂 I do miss my followers though. And a lot of them haven’t actually joined me over there for whatever reason. Nevertheless I miss them all. :-/ I’ll still check in here and there just to come and say HIYA! 🙂 You know you are definitely one of my favs! Thanks for supporting me luv. Hope all is swell with you though. Smooches. 🙂


  20. hello, renx,

    a stream of consciousness exercise, huh? just asking, hehe…. ’cause i was so taken up with the real estate story. then, it became about a manga. then, it zoomed into marriage and fidelity. and then, the narrator just got errr, a little mad? hahaha… ^^

    i hope you’ll find your mr. right guy who’ll love and cherish you and return your faithful affection. hmmn… but loosen up a bit on the guy’s past, kapatid. when you meet “the one,” i don’t think it’ll matter that much. you haven’t met him yet, i’d say… ^^

    sige na nga, mag-aral ka muna, haha. let love wait on the wings for now… the right one will find you. i sure hope he does, in due time… cheerio! 🙂


    • Ahahah ! I know, right ? My posts are kinda whacked, he he he.

      I reread it, and yep, I got mad ! LOL

      Ganyan talaga ako. I just write whatever. masisira ang ulo nang nagbabasa sa akin. Ha ha ha !


  21. wow, ren! you impressed me on this one really. and lalim super! i never knew na napakalalim mo palang tao. for someone as young, and unmarried, and you think that way, ur amazing, ren! and i am proud of u!


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