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So, here I am.  The first  day of my holiday vacation, Wednesday, Dec. 15, and so ready to muse…………. 

Well, it’s now Dec. 16, Thursday , 5:28 AM. I started writing the first two sentences above last night but I was so sleepy I could barely open my eyes.  I’m like an alarm clock. There’s no school, but here I am, pounding the keys at 5 AM.  Ah, I’ve written just 5 sentences, and already, I’m starting to blabber. 

 Today is Dec. 16 !!!! My sister’s birthday ! ! !  I guess she doesn’t want to be reminded she’s getting old…  she’s  still drop dead gorgeous, but, I can hear her biological clock ticking, loud and clear. Her boyfriend needs to pop the question already, and soon.  I don’t know what he’s waiting for, really. He practically lives in our house.  Or, maybe because he doesn’t have a steady job ?. He’s a Philosophy graduate and all that, but what  commercial company that gives decent wages needs a philosopher  in its roster?

 Philosophers spell trouble, if you ask me. They think too much. They complicate the simple and elaborate on the obvious.  ” Cogito ergo sum.” I think, therefore, I am.  It simply means  ,  that if you wonder  about your  existence, the act of wondering, in itself , means you do exist.  That’s Rene Descartes’  simple statement that became the basis for Western Philosophy .  I can be nitpicky and argue about the fact that a brain -dead person who’s incapable of thinking  can  exist, too . Technically, that is. In medical world ‘s point of view, a person is considered dead when the brain  does not function anymore. But , of course, the doctors cannot say that to said person’s loved ones.  Having said that,   I’d like to know if there is  such a thing as Eastern Thought  ?.  But, I do not like to think about that now .  Thinking  philosophical thoughts is a hard thing to do.  So, therefore, right at this moment, I do not exist.

About my laptop getting stolen at work, ( my mother’s laptop, actually )…. …. thinking back  about that incident  gave me the willies.   The laptop was easy picking, thank goodness, so the thief  just left me alone and unharmed. But, what if my laptop wasn’t on the counter ?  I’m thinking of  two possibilities …. 1. He could have shoved a gun or knife to my face ,  ordered me to  open the cash box,  then shot or stabbed me.  2.  Same thing, but he could have, instead,   ordered me to go to the freezer room, locked me in there, and left me to freeze to death…… ( pauses )………   I need to vanish these thoughts. It’s Christmas.  I’ll be nice and  just think  the thief  merely wanted some money so he could buy a gift for his little girl.  

Speaking of little girls, Christmas and  freezing to death……………. Have you ever read a book that made such a great impact on your psyche that it changed how you view the world?  Well, there’s this little children’s book titled The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen. I read it when I was 8  years old.  I remember my teacher was a pretty Filipina named Miss Silao. Anyway, I think I made a rather passionate book report about it. ….. I wrote  something like, ” children should be loved, not get beaten, children should just play, not sell matches,  children should be happy, not die on Christmas Day.”  I think Miss Salao was disturbed ,enough that she  talked to me after class.  I remember telling her ( I was in tears, too )  I did not like the book, that it upset me that a little girl died. Miss Silao explained to me  it was just a story the author made up, that nothing like that ever happened.  I don’t remember if Miss Silao managed to appease me or not, but, to this day, I still tear up everytime I think  of the little match girl.  I realize now the story was a mere social commentary of that era. Sadly, it still rings true today. There are millions of children out there that get beaten and abused and  go to bed hungry. But what can I do ? Nothing.  Perhaps, if I don’t think about them, they will cease to exist.

( sighs ) Well, I guess this is all for now.  Just eight days to Christmas, by the way.  Be good, be nice, be courteous, be polite. Peace and goodwill to all men. Happy Holidays !