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THE WAY WE ARE

1.You’re always late. ( This is what we call the Filipino time …. if you want a Filipino guest to come at 12 noon for lunch, invite him/her at 10 AM )

2. You’d rather be caught dead than arrive at a party on time.

3. You can’t throw anything away.

4. You say ” Maybe” or ” I’ll try” when actually you mean “No”.

5. You have a ready answer for every question, no matter how ludicrous, because you don’t want to say, ” I don’t know.”

6.You beat around the bush, use euphemisms, and resort to third parties when conveying unpleasant news.

7.You cope with a serious situation by turning it into a humorous one.

8.You’ll go into debt for a celebration. ( Filipinos love Fiestas. Households prepare food, and it ‘s usually an “open house”, meaning uninvited and strangers are welcome to partake of the food.)

9. You can sing and dance at the drop of a hat.

10. You love ballroom dancing and karaoke. ( Mom was into ballroom dancing when we lived there… she had a favorite Dance Instructor, a young handsome guy who was gay, and yes, we have karaoke here in the US , my aunt’s gift when she came here to visit us.)

11.You have a high threshold for pain and suffering. ( Filipinos just shrug off natural disasters.)

12.  You take to the streets during a coup d’etat to satisfy your curiosity and buy ice cream, peanuts, cotton candy and cigarettes from vendors while ducking machine gun fire.

13. You like everything imported.

14.There are always 3 or 4 pairs of slippers deposited at your doorstep. ( ^_____^)

15. You prefer to sit in the shade than bask in the sun.

16. You use an umbrella in fair or foul weather.

17. You NEVER discuss the weather.

18. You believe in chivalry. You still hold doors open for, give up your seat to, and carry the bags of women and the elderly and assist them when boarding or alighting from vehicles.

19. It makes you uncomfortable to be praised or flattered.

20. You ask people you have just met how many children they have and what their spouses do for a living. ( and more often than not, they ask how much your husband earns )

21. You always ring the doorbell twice, assuming that the first ring was not heard.

22.  You let the phone ring twice before answering, lest you appear overly eager. ( ^_^)

23. You don’t know the meaning of angst.

24. You love to laugh at yourself and at others.

THE WAY WE DRIVE  ( Oh my gosh)

You’ll never believe it unless you’ve experienced  driving in the Philippines.

1. You hang your left arm out the window and wave your hand to signal a left turn.

2. You hang a rosary on your car’s rear view mirror.

3. You tail an ambulance just to beat the traffic.

4.Your car chirps like a bird, ,plays a tune, or simply attracts attention  when you put it in reverse.

5.Your car horn can make at least 3 different sounds.

6. You can squeeze in 15 passengers into your 5 seater car without a second thought.

7. You keep your car seats covered in plastic.

8. You think traffic regulations are recommendations, not rules.

9. Signs like ” No Left Turn ” or No U Turn apply to everybody but yourself.

10.You think a yellow light means  ” Step on th e gas, you’ll make it ” and the guy behind you is counting on you to do just that.

11. You drive where there’s space, even if it means converting a 2 lane road into a 4 lane road. ( I swear  it’s even more than that. @__@ )

12. You know the rules of the road:  In the event of an impasse, the driver to first achieve an eye contact with the other driver has lost his nerve and must give in.

13.You know that no last minute manuever on the road is considered presumptous.

14.Your ability to create your own parking space in a totally jampacked parking lot puts Houdini to shame.

THE WAY WE DRIVE ( The real one )

1. When greeting a Filipino driver, slowly open your window and be prepared to greet the other driver with…. “Tang na mo, bobo ! ( slang for “your mother is a slut, moron” ) . However, if you have already been addressed by the other driver, respond with a joyful “Tangna mo rin, gago”!

2.If another driver on another lane turns on the turn signal, do not let him go into your lane, instead press the accelerator and drive next to him. The fellow driver will probably ” greet” you and you know what to do.

3. On Traffic lights…………. these are considered artifacts by Filipino drivers.  a ) Red light means  it gives permission for 5 to 6 cars to go through. b) Green light means reduce speed to allow 5 to 6 cars pass through their respective red lights.